A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I
can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head...
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....."Are these bullets for a rifle or a pistol?"
"sub machinegun" is the proper answer, then watch the dull glaze fall over the cashier's face....
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With all the dumb blonde, etc. jokes floating around out there I thought it was time for the fairer sex to have our say in a humorous sort of way.
Hope these make you all smile.
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet...
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Two beggars, lets just call them Manuel & Pedro spend all day begging outside one of the malls in Houston and every day Manuel comes home to his big mansion house with a suitcase full of $10 bills, whereas Pedro comes home to his trailer with hardly e...
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NEW ENLISTMENT OATHS
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am af...
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In a small Southern town there was a 'Nativity Scene' that showed
great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One
small feature bothered me. The three wise men were
wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up
with a reason or explanati...
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OK Guys, This one's for you!
Beer Contains Female Hormones
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a
recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at ...
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband a...
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WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE
By Andy Borowitz
Newsweek
Updated: 2:17 p.m. PT June 12, 2007
June 12, 2007 - In an attempt to break the nagging logjam over immigration, congressional leaders announced today that they are hiring illegal immigrants to write the nat...
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I'll start the ball rolling:
Have you heard that more and more laboratories are switching from using white rats to using lawyers in their experiments? Apparently, there are some things a rat simply won't do......
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Heaven is where the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.
**** is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are...
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A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixing to jump.
She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump. Thin...
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John and Ben were sitting together on a plane going to New Orleans. They started talking, and John asked Ben: I'm moving here but a little worried about my family's safety with all the shootings here recently, is it safe? Ben said sure, and with a good j...
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I am going to be a Dad yo!
Although our baby is 2 months away from birth, by the way he/she has been repeatedly kicking my girlfriend's liver, I do not think that it is premature to say that my wunderchild is destined to grow up to become the ne...
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Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funn...
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Yeah, so my five year old is currently studying the planet of the solar system. Why is it that the planet Uranus always causes my wife and me to chuckle? Especially when our daughter says it?
Then I proudly told my daughter that I attended Space Camp...
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A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, Leans out the window and asks the ...
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